Ask Dr R: Sex distress in a stable but foreplay-free marriage

Dear Dr. I was reading an article in the glamour magazine and came across your name. I’m 38 years old. I’ve two kids (5, 3) and married for 6 years. During these years, I had orgasm only one time with my husband. I have other problems going on in life too. But part of the reason is that my husband can tell that I don’t have orgasms. I never had sex before so when I got married at the age of 30, you could tell I was lost. My marriage is in the verge of breaking up. I used machine (rabbit) and it works. I just don’t understand why it won’t work with my husband. He said every girl he had sex before had orgasms, except for me. I do know that he doesn’t foreplay, all he wants is sex. And I don’t enjoy it like that. He knows that women like cuddling but still he won’t do that to me. What can I do? How can I improve myself?

Hello Distressed,
Many women (most women) need foreplay to fully enjoy sex and to achieve orgasm. Your husband’s premarital record of routine female orgasms without foreplay is remarkable, unusual and almost unbelievable.
Your relationship would benefit from couples counseling with a board certified psychiatrist or psychologist specializing in sexual function.
This is not a problem about YOU. It is a problem about your relationship and conflicting expectations between yourself and your husband. If your husband won’t go, you will benefit from going alone.
Best Regards,
Dr R